Because that’s the way the story of the gay guy and the straight girl is always told, isn’t it? He broke her heart. Poor her. But you were just being who you are.
I’m not sure if many watched this show back in the aughts, or are watching its reboot, but this scene was a terrific moment. A perfect moment not just for a show about the LGBTQIA demographic, but about how often its portrayed in media that the straight person in a gay coming-out story is the victim.How in a lot of these kinds of stories, it’s the straight person that comes at the gay person as hurt, as how they’re betrayed, as how they’re damaged and their reputation matters in the narrative. This episode, and this scene in particular destroys all of that and focuses on that person realizing that, yes, your life is changing as a result of your partner’s decision to come out and your relationship sexually and lovingly is over, you likely do NOT comprehend all that your friend has been, and is still dealing with on the other side. No queer/trans/bi/etc person should ever have to apologize solely for hurting someone because of their sexual orientation. This scene hit me so goddamn hard this week, and trying to explain this feeling to friends this past weekend had me ultimately crying and sobbing to help them understand that coming out and coming to terms with what your life may now hold is one of the most difficult things they will do. Even if you have no interest in Will and Grace and never watch another moment or episode, please understand just how important what is being said here is for millions of people.
Transcript:
Will: We don’t have to talk about it.
Grace: No, we do. I have to. You were tortured. And I never even thought about that. When I got to the part where you write: “Grace, I don’t want to be gay. I just wish I was normal.” …Oh my god, Will. That broke my heart.
And then the part where you said that you were thinking about hurting yourself? I mean, is that true? (Pause) Sweetie?
Will: It was a long time ago.
Grace: Okay, look. This might be 30 years too late. But I just got smart in the last hour. (Audience laughs) You’re right, I didn’t think about your pain. I only thought about mine, because that’s the way the story of the gay guy and the straight girl is always told. Isn’t it?
He broke her heart. Poor her. But you were just being who you are, and you were scared to death that the world was gonna find out and hate you for it.
Will: Wow….You did get smart. (Audience laughs)
Grace: And you were right, it is why I never say “I’m sorry.” And I have been playing the victim. So… I am going to say it now. (Pause)
Grace (emotionally): …Doesn’t it feel good? (Audience laughs)
Will: Still haven’t said it. (Audience laughs)
Grace: I didn’t? Oh! I am sorry. I am sorry for not being there with you. I am sorry, Will. I am sorry for not being there when you needed me most. And I am so, so sorry that I never said this to you before now.
The fact that you are a gay man did not ruin my life. It made it so much better.
i am a japanese person here to confirm that yes she is trans if you watch the episode and know everything being said there is literally no question that she is trans. the fact that she is trans is also relevant to the plot/her death. any “trans jokes” made in the episode only further emphasized how “Masao” was not a fitting name for her at all, and how she truly is Lily, always will be, and tbh, always has been. there’s no “liberty with the subtitles” japan has an LGBTQ community and I won’t stand for these ignorant westerners erasing that.
that in the Chinese version of Disney’s Mulan, the fake name she gives is “Ping”, but her family name “Fa” in English is “Hua” in Chinese, therefore her full name is “Hua Ping”, which is literally “Flower Vase”, and that’s why Shang is so bewildered because it’s a silly name.
but OP how could you not tell them the best part
“hua ping”/flower vase is chinese slang for “camp gay”
I—
Mulan, introducing her soldiersona: Hello yes it is me, a twink
so this kid he used to bully me in middle school before i got tough, well this is kind of a funny story. so i sugar from time to time but my latest
sugar mommys house is so extra and i didnt bring my glasses but im going through the house because she told me to make myself at home and i see a family photo and im just like he looks really familiar but i cant make out shit. and so she and i start talking and shes like yeah i have a son your age actually and im just like wait… and she was like you’ll meet him later when we go to the car show, and im just like fuckin wait.. and we get to the car show and its me and her we’re holding hands being friendly and shes like and heres my son. and i shit u not this is the same dude who used to fucking bully me in middle school and he starts fucking crying because he didnt know his mom was lesbian and i was just like hey its been a while, but im getting fucked by your mom.
The reason cishet people can’t wrap their heads around gay jokes like “all cishet people are smelly” or “space if only for gays” is because when they make statements like that about gay people they genuinely mean it.. so they can’t comprehend the fact that we’re joking.
This is a good illustration of Tumblr’s brand of social justice
and he still manged to include the q slur lmao
You are literally this person
To people in the notes going “but he should still paint over qu**r because it’s a slur”: I dare you to walk into your nearest LGBTQ Center and demand that any and all mention of “queer” be removed from its displays, literature, and programs. Go ahead and tell me what they say to you. I’ll wait.
I believe I will just queerly reblog this without further queer comment.
Agreed. I shall queerly join you.
To every person on here whimpering about ‘the Q slur’ you need to realise that every single identity under the umbrella began as a slur. None of you know your goddamned history.
Did you know that the first battle cry in a long line of protests was We’re here, we’re Queer, get used to it ? Or how hard people worked to give you what rights you have today? OUT OF THE CLOSETS AND INTO THE STREETS.
People were beaten to death, hung, dragged, shot, stabbed, died in prison protesting and fighting for the rights that you enjoy to this day. People who found and created power in the word Queer so that you wouldn’t have to be ashamed to be one.
And here you lot are, screaming at the older generations that we don’t know what it’s like to be called Queer in the hallways of your high school? Are you kidding? How many of my generation, and the generations before me do you think participated in the sit ins, the protests, the marches, the public displays of noncompliance? How many do you think were beaten by police, by angry bigots, chased away, threatened with violence? How many were tased, water gunned, pepper sprayed, unfairly arrested, unfairly charged, abused, mocked, and denied?
Do you even know who ACT UP are? Do you know who Queer Nation are? Do you know who Dykes on Bikes are? Who the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are? PFLAG, Oasis Centers, PRISM? How drag queens have been such a backbone to our community, those of you who say ignorant shit like “Don’t support drag queens!”? I encourage you, beg you, please do not continue to parrot transphobic bullshit by calling it the Q-slur – because that message originated with a group of transphobic people who didn’t like that Queer was all inclusive. Gay as a term originated as being used for homosexual men only.
How can I tell you. How can I convince you, brother; sister that your life is in danger. That everyday you wake up alive, relatively happy, and a functioning human being, you are committing a rebellious act. You as an alive and functioning queer are a revolutionary. There is nothing on this planet that validates, protects or encourages your existence. It is a miracle you are standing here reading these words. You should by all rights be dead.
Don’t be fooled, straight people own the world and the only reason you have been spared is you’re smart, lucky, or a fighter. Straight people have a privilege that allows them to do whatever they please and f— without fear. But not only do they live a life free of fear; they flaunt their freedom in my face. Their images are on my TV, in the magazine I bought, in the restaurant I want to eat in, and on the street where I live. I want there to be a moratorium on straight marriage, on babies, on public displays of affection among the opposite sex and media images that promote heterosexuality. Until I can enjoy the same freedom of movement and sexuality, as straights, their privilege must stop and it must be given over to me and my queer sisters and brothers.
Straight people will not do this voluntarily and so they must be forced into it. Straights must be frightened into it. Terrorized into it. Fear is the most powerful motivator. No one will give us what we deserve. Rights are not given they are taken, by force if necessary.
It is easier to fight when you know who your enemy is. Straight people are you enemy. They are your enemy when they don’t acknowledge your invisibility and continue to live in and contribute to a culture that kills you.
Every day one of us is taken by the enemy. Whether it is an AIDS death due to homophobic government inaction or a lesbian bashing in an all-night diner (in a supposedly lesbian neighborhood), we are being systematically picked off and we will continue to be wiped out unless we realize that if they take one of us they must take all of us.
Another text (1990):
Being queer is not about a right to privacy; it is about the freedom to be public, to just be who we are. It means everyday fighting oppression; homophobia, racism, misogyny, the bigotry of religious hypocrites and our own self-hatred. (We have been carefully taught to hate ourselves.) And now of course it means fighting a virus as well, and all those homo-haters who are using AIDS to wipe us off the face of the earth.
Being queer means leading a different sort of life. It’s not about the mainstream, profit-margins, patriotism, patriarchy or being assimilated. It’s not about executive directors, privilege and elitism. It’s about being on the margins, defining ourselves; it’s about gender-f— and secrets, what’s beneath the belt and deep inside the heart; it’s about the night. Being queer is “grass roots” because we know that everyone of us, every body, every c—, every heart and a– and d— is a world of pleasure waiting to be explored. Everyone of us is a world of infinite possibility.
We are an army because we have to be. We are an army because we are so powerful. (We have so much to fight for; we are the most precious of endangered species.) And we are an army of lovers because it is we who know what love is. Desire and lust, too. We invented them. We come out of the closet, face the rejection of society, face firing squads, just to love each other! Every time we f—, we win.
We must fight for ourselves (no else is going to do it) and if in that process we bring greater freedom to the world at large then great. (We’ve given so much to that world: democracy, all the arts, the concepts of love, philosophy and the soul, to name just a few of the gifts from our ancient Greek Dykes, Fags.) Let’s make every space a Lesbian and Gay space. Every street a part of our sexual geography. A city of yearning and then total satisfaction. A city and a country where we can be safe and free and more. We must look at our lives and see what’s best in them, see what is queer and what is straight and let that straight chaff fall away! Remember there is so, so little time. And I want to be a lover of each and every one of you. Next year, we march naked.
Another (1990):
If You’re Queer, Shout It!
Queers are under siege.
Queers are being attacked on all fronts and I’m afraid it’s ok with us. In 1969, Queers, were attacked. It wasn’t ok. Queers fought back, took the streets.
Shouted.
In 1990, there were 50 “Queer Bashings” in the month of May alone. Violent attacks. 3,720 men, women and children died of AIDS in the same month, caused by a more violent attack – government inaction, rooted in society’s growing homophobia. This is institutionalized homophobia, perhaps more dangerous to the existence of queers because the attackers are faceless. We allow these attacks by our own continued lack of action against them. AIDS has affected the straight world and now they’re blaming us for AIDS and using it as a way to justify their violence against us. They don’t want us anymore. They will beat us, rape us and kill us before they will continue to live with us. What will it take for This not to be ok? Feel some rage. If rage doesn’t empower you, try fear. If that doesn’t work try panic.
Shout It!
Be proud. Do whatever you need to do to tear yourself away from your customary state of acceptance. Be free. Shout.
In 1969, Queers fought back. In 1990, Queers say ok.
Next year, will we be here?
One last one:
Why Queer? – (1990)
Queer!
Ah, do we really have to use that word? It’s trouble. Every gay person has his or her own take on it. For some it means strange and eccentric and kind of mysterious. That’s okay; we like that. But some gay girls and boys don’t. They think they’re more normal than strange. And for others “queer” conjures up those awful memories of adolescent suffering. Queer. It’s forcibly bittersweet and quaint at best – weakening and painful at worst. Couldn’t we just use “gay” instead? It’s a much brighter word. And isn’t it synonymous with “happy”? When will you militants grow up and get over the novelty of being different?
Why Queer …
Well, yes, “gay” is great. It has its place. But when a lot of lesbians and gay men wake up in the morning we feel angry and disgusted, not gay. So we’ve chosen to call ourselves queer. Using “queer” is a way of reminding us how we are perceived by the rest of the world. It’s a way of telling ourselves we don’t have to be witty and charming people who keep our lives discreet and marginalized in the straight world. We use queer as gay men loving lesbians and lesbians loving being queer. Queer, unlike gay, doesn’t mean male.
And when spoken to other gays and lesbians it’s a way of suggesting we close ranks, and forget (temporarily) our individual differences because we face a more insidious common enemy. Yeah, queer can be a rough word but it is also a sly and ironic weapon we can steal from the homophobe’s hands and use against him.
They did it for you. They did it for me. They did it for all of us. So you wouldn’t have to go through it. So you could be freer than they ever could, than we could at your age, than our parents, grandparents, and great grandparents ever could. Not for you to invalidate the indentities of others, and your own community. You silencing Queer people and calling it a slur dishonours their legacy.
I am here. I am Queer. You will not call my identity a fucking slur and have me be silent about it. I will still fight for the rights of my community – the Queer Community.
This isn’t simply a question of vocabulary. Exclusionists and transphobes and their ilk want you to stop using “queer” because they don’t want queer people to exist. They may not be straight, but their only problem with heteronormativity is that they’ve been barred from participating in it. They’re conservative bigots and as soon as same-sex marriage was no longer blocked in the US they were ready to betray everyone in the queer community.
beinggayonmain 