i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb
transcript: “So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more. So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects? And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is. So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening? So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.”
Fun fact: the cat is checking the baby’s mouth to see if it is still breathing. Were it not breathing, the cat would commence to eat it.
FUN FACT
Omfg
That’s just blatantly untrue. While cats have been known to eat human corpses, it’s generally only when they’re starving and have no other food source. Seriously, quit demonizing cats.
Nose touches (as you see here) are a cats way of saying hello. It’s a friendly greeting. It’s NOT checking for breath.
Laying on a human (as you see here) is literally cat cuddling. Thats it.
We have literal records of cats going out of their way to save the lives of children from various dangers, from fires, to dog attacks, to choking to death. Its very easy to look up.
The only cases of cats eating their humans, have always been when their human died and it has been several days without the body being found. Amazingly this tends to line up with the cat not being fed and therefore STARVING.
It’s also a common thing among most pet animals too? Like sorry, your dog will do it too. Hell, ever heard of the the Donner Party? Humans aren’t exempt. When faced with survival, you try and survive.
STOP DEMONIZING CATS FOR BEING ANIMALS.
(And I mean, all it takes is a quick google search to figure this out, but no lets spread misinformation about innocent animals?)
If you actually truly believe cats are out to get you, and are cold and not affectionate, or whatever else people use to justify demonizing cats… You need to actually look up cat behavior. Your cat who ‘ignores’ you? More often than not is just respecting your space. Your cat who lashes out? Probably not feeling safe in their environment. Your cat brings you gross things? Trying to look after you.
Cats aren’t dogs. They have a set way of communication, and while they can learn dofferent expressions of affection, it will always be less evident than with dogs (who are particularily malleable to human behavior.) This doesn’t mean they are any less loving or capable of bonds.
All it takes is a quick google search to figure out why your cat does what they do. And literally, no cat intrinsically wants to eat babies.
are you kidding me, cats are super protective of small children. they’ve been known to attack dogs, snakes, alligators and grown-ass men if they thought a child was in danger. a stray cat in russia saved an abandoned baby from hypothermia by cuddling him, alerted people to his presence and tried following the freaking ambulance that took him to the hospital. they are very sweet and patient with babies and there are tons of adorable videos out there to prove it.
IF I EVER HEAR ANYONE TALKING SHIT ABOUT KITTIES I SWEAR
“cats are not dogs”
And there’s the rub. People have issues with cats because they’re mad they don’t act like dogs. They are a different animal and they relate and communicate differently. That doesn’t make them worse pets or evil or something.
^^^
Cats are good and pure creatures, dammit
Actually true fun fact! Cats who live with humans see those humans as colonymates! Cat colonies communally raise kittens. So if a cat’s human has a baby, the cat considers themself an automatic co-parent. So as far as that cat is concerned, that baby is its baby too. That cat is cuddling with and doting on its kitten.
Oh my god, that last fact is so fucking cute
Yep. Was just going to put that last bit. Cats are great.
I was once told that while cats will eat your dead body if they’re starving, a dog won’t and will protect your corpse at its own expense, which, now that I think about it, is obviously bullshit.
Oh yes bitter old men who can’t accept when something isn’t made for them.
Die mad about it
guys this is the same website that gave venom a 30% score what did you expect
Reblogging again to add this:
Everyone should go and give she-ra positive reviews. These people are just pissed the show was aimed and young people and they can’t jack off to it because the bodies of the characters aren’t over sexualised.
This show is nothing they say it is and we should start drowning out the negative bs with postivity from the shows actual target audience.
beinggayonmain 